i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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