Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
