Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
