so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
