I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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