i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
