the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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