That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
