Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
