That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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