I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
