Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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