wanna go halves on a baby?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
