i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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