I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
