I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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