Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
