i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Randomize
