Can Purell be used as lube?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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