i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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