You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
