Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
