You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
