Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We need to rekindle our bromance
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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