Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
