it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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