What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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