can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
