Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
