that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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