It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
