Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
