mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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