We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
what day is it and did you see me today?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
