i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
