One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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