I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
