Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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