sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
