We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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