Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
