there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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