Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
