I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize