Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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