I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
