I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize