What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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