you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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