Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dear god my vagina.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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